A Disturbing Vision

"I had a vision last night."

"You mean a dream?"

"No, I was wide awake. I saw myself as one of those imaginary semi-immortal beings that live in the deepest caves of the Earth..."

"You mean, like those bacteria they've discovered in mines a long time ago and are finally talking about in the news?"

"Exactly that. But what I realized was that my DNA recorded the surging growth of humankind. In other words, me and my kin live all over the planet and we've adapted to living with humans."

"So how is that a vision?"

"Well, you see, I realized that the mutation of my DNA showed the decline of human existence, too. Because of the lack of historical records in human hands, they have not seen how their species has taken over the Earth more than once, destroying large swaths of habitable space, wiping out all sorts of species of plants, animals and even simple bacteria like me, if it helped the humans to expand."

"So?"

"So, why do I, as a human standing here now, not the bacterium I saw as myself wandering between cracks in rocks last night, care about 'saving' the environment, if we're just going to destroy it, anyway?"

"Because we're supposed to care."

"That's right. We're 'supposed' to care. But as I saw in my vision, the Earth survives and flourishes without humans, or rather, with the unintended help of humans, creating room for whole lines of species to develop and mutate."

"'Nothing is new under the sun,' n'est pas?"

"Mais oui! But of course. I know that. So why am I saddled with the feeling that I should care about humans' cyclical destruction of the environment around them?"

"Training. Propaganda. Brain-washing. Good intentions. Guilt complex. Et cetera."

"No doubt. So what you're saying is that I'm supposed to care but I shouldn't?"

"I didn't say that. I'm only pointing out what you're feeling."

"And I'm not supposed to feel. I'm supposed to know what is right."

"Das ist richtig."

"Danke."

"De nada."

"So if I really want that Ferrari, I should jump back into a high-salary mode to get it?"

"But do you really want that Ferrari or is that more brainwashing that drives your desire, your feelings?"

"Duh. Again, you're right. No more feelings, no more desires. Do what is right."

"You're getting good at this."

"Thanks. So, all feelings aside, just me and this blank garage wall in front of us, no desires whatsoever. Think 'right.'"

"And don't make yourself believe anything. Go forth into the world with your capabilities held high."

"'I am not a bacterium. I have more value to give my fellow humans than environmental history embedded in mutated DNA.' Ommm..."

"Did I tell you to meditate?"

"No, but sometimes I can clear my head by making my tinnitus sound like meditation if I say some nonsense syllable like, 'om.'"

"Okay, I just wanted to make sure you weren't mentally picturing a Buddha, cross or some other 'higher' being to throw your self upon."

"Not at all."

"What are you thinking?"

"That I have many capabilities worth trading on the open market."

"Very good. Anything else?"

"Yeah. I'm hungry."

"Me, too. Let's get a bite to eat. What do you want?"

"Well, I was thinking about a tofu burger and a salad made from locally-grown produce."

"Because you're environmentally aware again? I thought we said no more..."

"No, because that restaurant that just opened down the street is having a half-price sale and I've only got a few bucks in my pocket."

"Very well. No other reason?"

"Nope. Let's go."

"You wanna drive?"

"No."

"Because you're still environmentally concerned a little bit?"

"No, because I'm out of gas and I really need the exercise."

"Good point. I'll race you there!"