Love In The Time of Recession

I wrote a long note to a friend on facebook, hit the backspace key to correct the spelling of a word and the whole note disappeared. I know the first note was a work of genius so I'll try again...

Anytime I attempt to discuss the subject of love, I can't help sounding cheesy or sentimental but here I am, anyway.

I cannot say that I own my wife's love; she owns me. My love is like a debt I can never repay so instead of worrying about how much principal or interest I owe, I share that love with all my friends and family, telling them about what my wife has been for me, has done for me and what little I feel I give in return.

She and I became penpals when we were 12 years old. From that point on, I shared my deepest thoughts with her, never once worrying that she would make fun of me or use my thoughts against me. I accepted her for who she was, too, never criticizing her behavior, no matter how much different it seemed to my own.

As we've grown, we've learned to give the other room to discover new aspects of ourselves that didn't exist when we first got married. We did not marry preconceived notions of what the opposite sex should be like or a perfect image of a marriage partner. Other than our names, nothing else is the same as it was 22+ years ago.

That's the major secret to the success of our marriage.

We also agreed to basic financial rules to avoid the issues that drive wedges into many marriages -- money problems -- such as:

• Rule #1 - tell your spouse/mate when spending more than $50 for anything besides birthday/Christmas gifts for the other.
• Rule #2 - put aside 20% of our income toward retirement and do NOT touch it until retirement.
• Rule #3 - live beneath our means so we can save up to spend cash on vacations, cars, or other high-cost items, avoiding unnecessary bank loans or credit card debt.

I hope you find someone to share your secrets with and never have to worry about losing that person's trust, no matter what the two of you become as individuals. For those of you who have seen your spouse leave you for another, I sympathize. Humans should know they can fall in love with a pile of dirt, if they want to - isn't that what popular movies and books show us? It's the person who cares for you who counts, not some stranger who looks good for a few months and wants to take you away from the person who really matters. If anything, we should be angry at those who attempt to steal our love and NOT be attracted to them. Instead, we're temporarily blinded by "love" (lust in disguise, for the most part). Such is human folly!

As I told another friend on facebook, I hope you find the person you want to take your last breath with. I consider myself very lucky to have found mine at age 12, although I didn't know it then, which made discovering the fact so much more fun!

In these recessionary times, stress increases, putting pressure on our relationships. If we build a strong foundation, then we can weather these tough times. My wife and I have weathered three recessions and will continue to weather more because our love for each other includes respect in the form of simple financial responsibility. After all, love isn't rocket science. Put your partner before materialism and see what happens!