Overcoming Boredom

In a few months, I'll have lived and breathed on this planet for 47 years. During that time, I have repeated myself so often that I've come to understand the concept of the midlife crisis more than once, too. You know what I mean, the reality that you've lived as an adult for 20-plus years and mortality is no longer a concept but an actual counting down of days so you look around you and see the ennui associated with seeing the same thing over and over and over again, despite attempts at experiencing something new.

Sometimes, enough time has elapsed that I can repeat something I've forgotten about. But eventually, the brain pathways are refreshed and memories return.

So it was that I experimented with online social networks. I got in contact with schoolmates I hadn't seen or heard from in 30 years or thereabouts. I discovered the lives they had led and thus some of the various possibilities that any one of us could have taken from the day we left the mandatory education labor camp known as high school (or primary school). I learned that there are some genuinely nice, caring people out there while I am still the intellectual snob I always thought I was, laughing my way through life as if I was somehow better than everyone else (and yes, no need to tell me, it's as pathetic as it sounds -- I grew up in an average middle-class home, with an average middle-class life and average middle-class intellect).

At the start of the day, I am still stuck with me. Sure, I woke up at 4 a.m. this morning to watch the sky brighten, with the tree silhouettes slowly coming into view in the foreground, as the luscious deep reds and blues in the background dimmed the stars, outlined the mountains, and gave way to a gorgeous sunrise. After all, I am an animal capable of wonder, unaware if my fellow housemates -- a black-and-white tetra fish, two Cornish Rex cats, female human being, some potted plants, and hidden ones such as spiders, roaches, and the like -- enjoy the wonders of the universe as much as I do.

I suppose that's what it's all about for me, discovering whatever "it" is in the moment. Once "it" is tagged, numbered and filed away, I'm ready for the next "it" to enter my field of view. Otherwise, if I have to stare at "it" for too long, I get bored, nervous and edgy. Like a child throwing a temper tantrum, I scream and shout, pushing people out of the way, calling them whatever names and making up whatever stories I can to get them out of my way (as if someone would bother stalking me) so I can go on to the next "it" I find by myself.

I suppose that's what worries me. If enough of a surrogate me is created in cyberspace, thus giving others who may not even know me an idea of what the next thing may be that will hold my attention as the "it" of the moment, I may never discover something new for myself. Instead, I will be fed a diet of things that are just enough different or far enough in time from the last time I encountered them that I'll believe it's something new and completely different.

After all, a car is just a car. A pair of shoes is just a pair of shoes. They are all just accessories and necessities. Yet, look at how many of my fellow humans get excited when the next car model hits the showroom floor or a pair of shoes gets displayed in a store window. They will fully exclaim that this is "IT"!!!!

I have owned Italian and German sports cars. I have jumped out of a perfectly good airplane. I have traveled to foreign lands and spoken foreign tongues. I have held a variety of jobs. But the one thing I've never been is someone else. No matter what I do or where I go, I fall asleep as me and get up with me in the morning.

Of course, we can never escape ourselves. We can reshape our bodies, calling it steroid therapy, botox injection, cosmetic surgery (just exactly what is "plastic" about plastic surgery?), artificial limb attachment and so on. We can replace many of our organs. But we haven't found a way to replace our genetic heritage, our collection of thoughts and other aspects of whatever "it" is that basically makes us us. [The symptom of amnesia is an interesting manifestation of that idea, though.]

Today, I have nothing to offer myself as a solution to my boredom. Usually, I just entertain myself with another short story disguised as a blog entry (which later serves as a portion of a chapter in a future book). However, last night's dreams were so delightful that I don't feel like writing anything down, not even my dreams, which would be too difficult to translate into words. I can savor the dreams and not spend a penny today.

I'll just jot down a note for myself here, trying to capture the dream image of myself as a baby in a crib staring up at math formulae floating above my head like stars in the sky or figures in a rotating mobile, each one being a partial solution to the economic turmoil we're now facing. As I reach up and pull down a formula, I see the way to fix the economy. I keep pulling down more and more math symbols until I see that the solution to the economic mess is not mathematical at all. Instead, it's simply a matter of telling people to realize that our mindsets will be messed up for a while until we get used to the idea of resetting our financial goals and expectations. It won't stop economists from touting large numbers or politicians from promising political fixes. What it will finally take is a concerted effort by the people to declare war on the economic profiteers (né pirates) and look for sacrifices in order for them to fully vent their rage before they can accept defeat in the worldwide battle for economic supremacy.

Will there be a modern-day version of storming the Bastille? It depends on how well the governments and news outlets can keep people feeling helpless and disconnected from one another. I look for either a rise in despondency/apathy or increase in random acts of violence against financial institutions to show which way the people are going. Ireland is already showing increasing signs of violence but it is a relatively isolated place, both geographically and informationally speaking. But is it the canary in the mine, though? And how many times has someone like me seen and felt these same thoughts, thinking that he's the first one to discover them?

Ah, boredom...'tis hard to overcome when methinks too much, eh? Best be entertaining meself quietly while I keep me mind focused on cranking the millstone like a good peasant. Them feudal lords knows what they're a-doing, don't they?

Yeah, right!!!

I especially like the political idea of "You just keep working so we can use your taxes to fix the situation." Hmm...isn't "fixing the situation" why I've already paid off my house, put money away for retirement and lived below my means my whole life? At least I have the luxury of not working right now so there are no taxes that I pay to fix someone else's life savings, home equity value or underwater mortgage. My wife and I are good students of history and have always avoided overextending ourselves.

Sorry, but after looking at the lives of others on facebook, I'm mad as hell and can't take it anymore -- I have no desire to help some of you repair your overextension just because you weren't good students to begin with. I'm taking a small part-time teaching position to reach out to those who still have an open mind and may want to learn how to enjoy a comfortable life without plastic surgery, overpriced neighborhoods and heavily-mortgaged lifestyles.

For the rest of you who lived below your means, I congratulate you. Join us in the revolution to turn this economy around! Teach others to turn off their televisions and stop listening to the radio. Stop subscribing to advertising-based magazines. Don't open general-interest or other ad-based websites. In other words, don't let someone else tell you what you like -- use your own brain to decide what you like or dislike. You'll be amazed at how much more relaxing your life can be when you spend more time with people like you who enjoy a basic lifestyle without constantly competing with each other about who has the bigger boat, newer backyard grill, shinier diamond ring or fancier renovated house. You'll taste foods for the first time for what they are and not for what the advertising agencies promised. You'll appreciate the leaf on the tree for the color it has and not think of it as just something you "have to" mow or rake in the fall because your yard has to look more pristine than your neighbor's.

That's what resetting your expectations is all about -- simply redefining what it takes to overcome the boredom in your life. You don't have to buy things or change your body to substitute for an empty life. Why not just be you, complete with all the warts, boredom and everything else that comes with it? You'd be surprised how much fun, creative and fulfilling it can be to discover more about yourself!!!