Bad Vlad Broods Good Mood?

Any coincidence that farming games are popular in China and on facebook right now?

Nostalgia.

Organic cat food.

The taste of beer on a boat in warm weather.

Fish scales caught in arm hair.

Flies.  Ants.

Cutting back privet to see the road - the damn hedge grows like the free weed it is.

Violent abandoned adopted babies - spanked? - and young bicyclists in the breeze.

Should black boxes be trusted to the fox guarding the hen house full of blackened Poles?

Smelling the wind for new signs now that the Cherokee mama is hunting higher grounds.

Being used to being used but sad and depressed about being used any which ol' way.

Looking at the diversions, as always.  What does the magician hand to the assistant in plain sight?

Have you ever lived under a glass ceiling for very long?

When facts become facts, who are your true friends?

Half of one is also half of the other.

Are droughts contagious?

If you're full of distrust, do you trust your distrust?

Order in the court.  Here comes de judge.  Ladies and gents, Laugh-In looks at the news.  Love, American-style, truer than the red, white and blue ... it's me and you.  Sock it to me.

Carol Burnett in Sacramento raisin country.

Sharpening a new pencil ... the pine tar gumming up the pencil sharpener ... here comes the future, baby!

In BBC news today, it was announced that factory figures had figured nicely this time around, except for the fact the figures were rigged to scaffolding around an empty warehouse rigged to look full of rigs.

In BBC, news today revealed the rags-to-riches story of the Untouchables, tax auditors who'd taken bribes to help companies get back on their feet through creative bookkeeping.  Beekeepers were kept out of the pot of honey this time.

In BBC news, today a well-placed executive gave his assistant a pretty bauble for keeping their babble secret between them.  The assistant sold the bauble to pay for a trip for her boyfriend to pay a visit to the executive's wife for a little bubbly in a bubble bath for two.

Today, the BBC news showed it was incapable of maintaining the farce of neutrality due to the infiltration of former writers for Punch who insisted on skewing the news toward sarcasm and wry British humour.  Evidence: the prime minister was shown eating a piece of Arctic-grown cheese.  A total lack of culture on both parts.

China raised its quota for American immigrants in order to secure laborers to complete the high-speed rail between all major Chinese cities.  The American qulī workers must provide their own pick axes and lunchboxes.

Poland has secured permission from NATO to randomly take down a Russian airliner flying into NATO territory in the "fog."  The Kyrgyzstan government has volunteered its two military airports to show solidarity with both the West and Russia in support of resolving this issue.

To play a trick, the Himalayas shrank several metres overnight to mess with China's and Nepal's official height of Mt. Everest.

The increased production of biomass fuel in Brazil has caused a shift in Earth's rotation due to the amount of non-flatulence based methane released into the atmosphere.  Scientists have proposed releasing a secret supply of methane-eating chemical bombs over South America to prevent Earth's orbit from collapsing.  Taiwan and South Korea have denied any connection to the production of the chemical weapons.  North Korea has taken credit but no nation has recognised their ability to make such sophisticated weapons at this time.  Iran has claimed it has harnessed anti-methane technology and could, if it wanted to, produce such weapons but it is a country of peace, not war, and thus has modified the technology for cleaning the air of restaurants where too much fiber and roughage is consumed.

The conspiracy theory of conspiracy theories was thought up by a woman working at a travel agency early this morning.  By the time she finished texting her theory, an invisible group of cyberwarfare ninjas stepped invisibly out of her phone and took the travel agent to an undisclosed location.  Throughout the day, the agent has suffered through a series of tests to ensure her theory is in fact a theory and not the tip of a tip from a lover / acquaintance / associate that prompted her to think up the theory from the hint of a tip of a fact she knows nothing about.  Meanwhile, a cybernetic copy of the travel agent continues to fill travel orders at the office, her coworkers unaware of the difference between the real her and the robotic her, she having lived a quiet life sharing superficial conversations with the people nearest her.

Unknown to the cyberwarfare ninjas, they are third generation copies of their cybernetic selves.

Unknown to the travel agent, she is still sitting at her desk filling travel orders, with only her thought patterns kidnapped and carried off to a secure location for interrogation.  Her coworkers only think they detect a change in her wan demeanor today, a few pondering the possibility that she is either an alien or a robot.

I have taken the day off and left this blog entry for my computer programmers to write using a new automatic text-generation software package to replace the one I had been using for the past few months.

My body is sitting at home staring at the flickering images of a box across the room after working in the sun-filled yard earlier today while my thought patterns have been sent to a "cleaning house" for repairs and updates, wiping out dead-end trails of thoughts that have weighed down my overall adventure-seeking life of adventure wrapped in adverts.  A bottle of Samuel Adams Noble Pils is lying while laying its lies on its side and dripping drops onto the carpet beside my moccasined feet.

Are you a "yes" or a "no"?  Do you think you know but still want to find out?  Do you invent your own carrots or do you depend on carrots others have dangled in front of you?

My computer programmers think they have worked out the bugs in the upgrade they released yesterday so we should have the new predictions programmed into the electric pencil sharpener for me to grind out a few answers tomorrow.  The shavings they scanned today made no sense.

But then again, as you know, even mistakes are part of the future.  So what do the pencil shavings really mean?  Are we really going to create a new council of panels containing those permanently-assigned and those who rotate in and out via popular vote?  Will we finally abolish trade barriers in order to take full advantage of local areas of expertise that leverage cooperative (rather than competitive) advantage instead of leveraged buyouts?  Are we going to train all citizens for self-empowerment?

Good thing for the upgrade.  The last version of the program had spun off into a utopian cycle.  A lot of nice ideas but they were being spun up too fast for subcultures to implement.  Glad we have a secret set of manually-derived versions of the future, including a few control experiments, to test against the seven-billion strong superorganism's Book of the Future prediction subroutines.

Time for me to unplug from the picture box and see if the upgrade will fully function by tomorrow's blog entry.  Okay, you programmers, show me what you've written for a blog entry today!