Ever mentioned that I prefer black ink pens? This blue one out of the glove department will do when all I want to do is write.
Sitting in the BMW after eating a hamburger w/mustard and jalapenos, fried potato strips, unsweetened iced tea and a "Reese's blast" (concoction designed to resemble a milkshake - not sure about any actual milk in it) at a drive-in, fast food joint called Sonic off Wall-Triana Boulevard.
Reading "Bobbed Hair and Bathtub Gin," contemplating my mortality and anonymity.
Only a few weeks of this teaching gig left. Have I given back to the community what it gave me when I needed a place like ITT Tech in 1985 to get a few classes under my belt so I could get a job in the town where my girlfriend had moved? My father called me last night and wants me to get a gig as a GA at a university so I can complete a post-graduate degree.
Earlier, I walked for an hour and 38 minutes around and over suburban subdivisions at southeast, south, and southwest ends of Little Mountain. Kept my mind blank. Needed downtime. Meditated on smells of suburbia - chemical fertilizers, chlorinated water, pinewood wall studs, petrol and oil burning in lawnmowing gear - nothing specific I needed to recall to justify my existence. While coasting along sidewalks, I heard vacuum cleaners pushed by faceless beings behind bricked walls growing out of manicured lawns.
No blog today. Speechless. Unoriginal. Dull. Blasé. Suburban, empty, nightmare life not worth sharing with global readers. One person's paradise of perfectly safe cookie-cutter living with tiled floors, lawn sprinklers, afternoon teas and backyard BBQ parties is another person's desensitizing numbness.
I live in $150k to $750k home values, $600 to $1900 per month payments, and firmly a fixture in it.
I am sleepwalking through life. Is this nirvana? I'm afraid so. Don't give me anything for my birthday this year - I already got what I asked for. I asked for nothing and got nothing in return. My wisdom and knowledge have become one and dissolved into nothingness. Omm....burp! Oh, that's right. I'm still a human and will be nothing more.
Off to ITT Tech to grade papers, prepare lessons and hear about the latest faculty agendas/crises, hoping the students, faculty or staff will help me justify my existence for a day.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment