Celebrity vs. Notoriety

Imagine you've gone out for the evening with your significant other. You aren't expecting anyone to barge in on your quiet family time.

Then, BOOM! In walks a gal who heads your way, stops at your table at the restaurant and starts chatting up the place like she knows you but she's not familiar to the one at the table with you.

Yeah, that happened to me tonight.

And you know what, it's not what I want.

That's the problem with celebrity versus notoriety. A celebrity, s/he gets respect. A guy who's notorious. Well, he gets what's coming for him.

Now, how am I supposed to explain this gal to my wife? I mean, hey, she's just this dame who interrupts our dinner conversation and pretends like I'm some sort of mob boss. Let me make it clear - I ain't with no mob.

What was her name? Jennifer or something? Kind of Asian looking, with those cute folded eyelids that gets me up in here...okay, enough details on the body features. Besides, I never seen her before tonight. Never. That's right.

Just cause she says she knows me doesn't mean nothing. I'm just this regular guy, going out with his wife for a simple meal. Yeah, so it was Italian sausage, beans and rice at a Tex-Mex steak place in Alabama. So what?! Ain't no one ever ordered that before?

I repeat, I never saw that woman before. That's on the record here, you see? Oh, you thinking you got me figured out... I've never done nothing wrong in my life. Sure, I've made a few mistakes but I fixed 'em up real good when I found out. So everything's on the "up and up," know what I mean?

My record is clean. Squeaky clean. You keep that in mind the next time you see me.

And you, Jennifer or whoever you said you were, I don't know you. So when you see me out with my wife, you move on to the next table or go back where you came from. If someone has a message for me, they can see me in my office. Are we clear on that now? Good.

I'm going to settle down for the evening with my wife, all cozy like by the fire. I don't want no one knocking on my door or buzzing my cell phone. If you do...well, I'll see you tomorrow and it ain't going to be no nice greeting I'll be giving you, neither, so take my word for it and zip it tonight. Next time I'm out, if another Jennifer or Natasha or Teqieza stops by my table to say hello, I'll be telling you one last goodbye. Capiche?