The Truth As I Know It

Sometimes I want to tell the truth, no matter how much I have to lie. My mind, that on a universal scale is a collection of relatively useless intersynaptic waste, is seizing up. I am fighting a battle of wills against myself. I am freezing up or solidifying like a statue.

I am scared.

I...I know I'm repeating myself but it's not all about me. Life on this world is only, I repeat, only about the interconnected evolving species that compete and cooperate. Anything else, including my thoughts, is unnecessary without species reproduction.

Thus, I am among the walking dead. So be it. That's not why I'm scared.

My fear is more localized than that.

I have a morbid fear of dogma and I'm resisting the urge to make this a laughing matter.

You can't see it but I have literally screamed so loud it's disturbed the baby raccoons in the attic.

I have begged and pleaded with the birds outside to help me. Yes, I am so desperate that I'm turning to another species for advice.

Dogma. I think my thoughts are wasted on my thoughts that think they're smarter than the previous set of thoughts I had. But dogma?! Aiiiieeeeee!!!!!

I goofed up earlier this week and exposed myself to a general newscast, the remnants of the major news networks that used to project the so-called world view (at least as the United States saw it at the time). Now my body is shaking a few days later, trying to deprogram itself from adopting either a view for or against the news broadcast I saw (which is exactly what the person in the news broadcast was attempting).

Why are humans expected to line up behind or fight against dogmatic leaders? And I don't care who the leaders are or what they stand for. Why are humans expected to give up their independence in order to allow others, even the less dogmatic ones, to act on their behalf?

I am the only person who is expert in living my life. So should we all be. I ask anyone who reads this to think for yourself. No matter how well or poorly you performed in school, you have the same brain as the rest of us. For your own sake, and for the sake of your family if you have to think of it that way, use your brain and don't let someone else tell you how to use it.

If anyone wants to tell you what to think, find out if the life that person is living (and I mean every exact detail of the current life and whatever led up to it, not the glossy brochure version you see in the news) is the kind of life you would be comfortable calling your own.

In other words, seek the truth, not dogma!

Meanwhile, I'm going to resist the urge to crack a joke here while my body shivers and shakes in deprogramming mode (in other words, sometimes life is tough on you and you've got to hang with it for a while until you get better).