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"I awoke today to see the truth before me. I have no friends. I have no one with whom I can sit and do nothing except myself. Everyone wants something from me, wants to buy my loyalty or wants me to keep their secrets. I have nothing I want from others, no need for loyalty and no secrets to share. I am an empty vessel. I am a random set of symmetrically typed characters on a blog entry title. There is nothing left. If there is a god, then here I am - let me take the place of the next person you want to die. I don't care if it's heaven or hell or nowhere that person is destined to go. I've lost interest in this life I have. If there's an eternal swap-and-shop, my essence is available. Otherwise, I'll just keep living on this lousy planet with its randomness and fortunate position in the galaxy, fortunate for most of the creatures living on it, at least. Maybe a gang member needs to be initiated by taking someone down. You know where to find me. My pattern of living is pretty predictable. I lived a good life for nothing. After I got married, I never had an extramarital affair and never even so much as got a speeding ticket. Everything I've done has been for naught. Why was I born as a human being? I might as well have been a robot. THERE'S GOT TO BE SOMEONE OR SOMETHING TO END THIS MADNESS!" -- Josephine Schablotnik, extemporaneous speech for stage audition # 431, 23rd April 2009