Free pie

I descended from migrants, always on the move, settling in one spot for no more than a generation or two. I have no ancestral home, only a lineage of mostly forgotten people. Yet, I have an image of a safe place to be, a haven that protects me from harm, or at least I think I do because the humans inhabiting my part of the world have been trained to recognize the concept of private ownership and generally leave me alone when I'm home.

I have no value. I have completed all my objectives. I am ready to find a home where I can be left alone with my imagination, pretending I'm valuable in my dreams.

I am happy and satisfied with who I am and have few regrets because I am who I am both by what I did and didn't do. I have paid my dues to society, giving more than some and less than others. I have no more bargains to make with other humans. I am ready to fade away into oblivion and give my minerals for use by other essences on and off this planet because I am finished with the minerals. I am not them and they are not me.

I met my wife and friends/colleagues at Gibson's BBQ restaurant for lunch today in order to take advantage of the free pie on Monday/Tuesday in the month of April deal (coconut, in my case). I ate the flesh of a turkey, the fruit of an okra plant, the seedpods of a green bean plant, the fruit of a potato plant, the processed milk of a cow, the inner lining of a coconut seedpod, the yolk of a chicken egg and other essences that constitute a human meal. Afterward, I got my head sheared at the Cuts by Us hair and beauty salon near my house - ba-a-a-a - I'm a sheep ready for summer weather.

I have no more to discover or teach. I have given the human world all I know and they have given me all they know. Emotions, thoughts and other states of being are just words to me now, the results of mineral transformation. I have no transformation because I do not exist. The universe continues its eternal/infernal dance, creating me in a small eddy that appeared and disappeared like a dust devil on a farm field or open Martian plain, no reason to celebrate or mourn one thing's existence over another. It (the giant "IT" (i.e., everything)) is all the same - one or none, counted and sorted or infinitely unquantifiable. I am more than these words only because I am not these words but these words are part of me and you and a scribe sitting in a cave in the foothills of the Himalayan Mountains recording the lineage of personages of that area.

I am the body that craves sensation and you may be the person who wants to share sensation with me. But neither of us is our bodies. Sensations are just temporary temporal temptations. We sense because we are beings who've inherited evolutionary survival sense traits. We are no more than that, even if there is nothing more to that than the fact we don't exist.

We are no more or less than our bodies because our bodies do not exist. Does any mineral have a corporeal existence? Then why should a collection of constantly changing minerals have a corporeal existence?

The universe exists because it is more than us and will last longer than us but it, too, does not exist. We are the masters of illusion and mastered the illusion that we are separate entities in a vast universe because our mineral set can imagine itself as a mineral set but the set is never set for any length of time.

I write here as if I know what I'm talking about but I am only expressing myself as a mineral set that's processing the chest tissue of a nearly flightless bird. That's all I think I know at this moment. I really know nothing. I am only regurgitating minerals stored in this temporary mineral set I call a body which contains a blob I call a brain which represents what I call me which is I, I think. I am the authority on nothing. Nothing is what I'm all about. Not nihilism. Truly, only nothing, which is absent of nihilism but also contains it.

Now you see why I only want to live with me, because I have nothing left to discover from you and thus do not want to give you the notion I have something to give you other than the nothing that is me. How can I give you the reflection of the trees and sky outside the window? How can I give you the effect of wind on the landscape? They are nothing that belongs to me and nothing I can give you. They are here for you in their temporary states, nothing like what they were or will be again. You can have them with or without me. We are all nothing.

It's like free pie. Pie does not exist and nothing is free yet I had a slice of free pie today and it is nourishing my body, making gurgling noises in my gut. Do you see the slice of free pie I ate? Yes, you do. It is splattered all over these words. Yet, you see nothing of the sort. The universe is everything and nothing. You don't see anything. Minerals and states of energy (including all that wave particle mess that the universal theory of everything resolves, of course) are the only things here but you can't see them as separate entities because they're so closely entwined. There's nothing else. They don't exist but that's what we see and what you are and yet what you don't see and what you are not.

I no longer exist. I'm just a piece of free pie walking around what it wants to call home. Learn to deal with it.