Titleless

[Now that I'm calmed down, I can rest for a bit and think about someone else's issues for a change.]

A student of mine mentioned that she always starts the term feeling prepared and organized but quickly falls into disrepair and gets behind in her assignments.

I know how she feels. During the 21 years of my struggles to overcome self-deprecation and situational depression to finally complete a bachelor's degree, I told myself every quarter/semester that this was the term I was going to take my studies seriously and get a good grade.

Do I have some philosophical insight to provide the student? Not really. I wouldn't suggest the path I took to discover that it's when you figure out who you are and thus the major line of reasoning and studying that gets you excited to attend class and master the subject after you've spent countless hours and years of in-class sitting and twindling your pen, not to forget the thousands of dollars invested to discover your inner being...

I am an example of myself to myself as far back as I can remember. I want to see independence in a person but not true independence, just the demonstration of independence in thought as built around the zeitgeist. Done. I want to see freedom from worrying about having money, not the freedom of having lots of money to spend. Done. I want to say I took the use of my environment into consideration when consuming goods and services but not be a total hermit in the woods. Done.

I entered university without knowing what I wanted to do in life. I spent the next 21 years taking a variety of classes, building up my knowledge of the knowledge in books and lectures and labs and teachers' thoughts to see that a university-level education is whatever you want to make of it. For me, it has always been about the pursuit of knowledge for knowledge's sake that can be turned into these words. The acquisition of a better job or position in life was never my goal, only my perception of what others thought my goal of an education should be. I value the quality of one scoop of fresh ice cream, not a basement full of 80 different flavours to choose from.

I have no sage wisdom in me. I acknowledge that fact. I have the accumulation of knowledge that bounces around in my thoughts and gets bounced off the people around me, many times used to the benefit of others and the detriment of, or noneffect on, me.

I am teaching my last class at the local technical institute. I have given the students I met all that I know. I have shared my thoughts, my knowledge, my love of Krispy Kreme doughnuts, my pursuit of cheap technical gadgets and a basic understanding of the class subject. Did I know all there was to know about the subject? Never. Did I inspire all my students? No. But that's real life. We reach out and affect/effect some we meant to and many that we didn't.

What can I tell my students who have trouble focusing on their classwork? Look at the big picture. Is it just this class that you're having difficulty with? Is it the teacher/instructor/professor? Is it your major course of study? Your boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse/child/grandchild? Don't expect to see a clear answer standing out. The solution may be fuzzy. Life is not a series of Yes/No, True/False and multiple choice answers. You have to experiment sometimes to see what is the best answer for the time and place.

A school diploma will open doors for you but you are not your diploma. You may discover who you are before, during or after you receive your diploma. In fact, you'll discover multiple versions of yourself as you go along.

Despite all the distractions that seem so important to you, you are the only coursework, the only project that matters. The class you're taking is part of who you are in the moment. If you understand that, you'll see how unimportant the distractions are. If not, you'll let the distractions get the better part of you. It's no secret. It's what you learned in the crib when you cried for food and your parent(s) were distracted by something temporarily more important than you. We learned to cry ourselves to sleep and we learn to study on our own. It's not hard work. It's just what we learn to do as long as we're open to learning and open to new opportunities. I paid a price of a couple of hundred school credit hours to learn that lesson. I 'ope you don't 'ave to.