Where is I, Stan?

In global news today, the cartography business is taking off after the announcements of the Stans - Pakistan, Afghanistan, Turkmenistan, Uzbekistan, Kazakhstan, Kyrgystan, Tajikistan, as well as Iran and Iraq - that they were officially joining together to form two new states, Sunnistan and Shi'iteistan. They released notes of their secret meeting to form one country, Islamistan, which detailed the continuing fight over the "right" destiny of the Muslims, paralleling the long struggle of the Jewish people to form one state, which in turn showed the internal struggle of all countries to define themselves in one form.

Immediately, the United States condemned the move, saying that it will make the polarisation of its country more pronounced. However, one cartographer pointed out that the left-leaning East and West coasts of the U.S. could not become one country separated by the right-leaning middle. Another cartographer pointed out the ability of Canada to hold itself together despite the French-speaking province of Quebec. Northern Irish residents cheered the move, approving land separation based on minor religious differences.

Analysts have flooded the airwaves. Is this good for our world? Is it bad? Where will the price of oil go? How will the military-industrial complex respond to this threat to their marketing campaign that had turned the whole area into a profitable battleground? Will FIFA have new locations from which to choose future World Cups? Should the 2016 Olympics be taken from Rio and split between the two new countries? Will there be an upswing in the price of Persian rugs?

Russia, India and China are expected to announce an upcoming set of joint military exercises along the borders of Sunnistan and Shi'iteistan.

Further details will be released by the new governments, including the proposal that the two countries will share one seat in the United Nations, showing solidarity.

Meanwhile, Kuwait is sweating bricks, looking at its lonely place between Saudi Arabia and these new nations. Qatar, Bahrain and the UAE will release statements in the next day. Nations of the African continent are said to be in talks to reconfigure their borders and perhaps declare themselves one nation, should Sunnistan and Shi'iteistan create regional peace and prosperity.