Continuous Duty

Looking at a design by Dr. Y. Ninomiya and wondering where we're going with our words about ourselves. We want to find explanations for the unexplainable. We want to say and hear that arbitrary sheeplike crowd behaviour is scientifically definable like "the same flight dynamics as a real airplane."

Why? Are we so insecure in our daily lives that we need constant reassurance? [Yes, I like asking rhetorical questions like everyone else.]

I am incomplete. I cannot see with clarity. I imagine I know the capabilities of our species. When I look at what we do, I can't believe my eyes. Are we bred with insecurity? Do we raise the majority of our offspring to be less than alpha leaders? What is the cause for hierarchy in social animals? Is passive-aggressive behaviour a learned response?

What causes one person to have confidence without limits? Is it the perception of social bonds? Is it a devil-may-care attitude?

I see the universe without causation external to what I see. I don't care about the scientific method. I react more than I act. I don't have to plan my life because so many people want me to be a part of their plans that I can flow behind them or be pushed along and still have a good life. I know I only have this one life on this one planet and will not get to the other side of the galaxy in my lifetime. Otherwise?

The world is full of confident one-trick ponies. Passion. Drive. Initiative. Belief in a "Grand Vision".

History is just a word, a matter of perspective. I will not be studied as a/an historical figure because I have decided not to take a stance or stage my own race with me as front leader. My life is wonderful because I value my individuality. I see the appeal of having followers but have no need to bask in the praise of others. The only way to live as an example of the life I like to live is to live as an example to myself of the life I live. I can have a personality that constantly wants to please everyone I meet and not have a consistent personality at the same time.

I am only myself. I will only live my life. I do not have children to raise or grandchildren to expect. I do not have to compare my offspring to the offspring of others.

I can be happy smiling at myself in the mirror or at others passing by, the permanent stroke of luck of having upturned clown lips my only birthright, no matter what I think.

I will be confused. I will see confusion on others. I am one specimen, trained to be a leader but happy to be a hermit.

I have no duty to others or to myself. Duty is an animalistic term specific to species. I am of my species but I don't have to belong to my species. I am me, an island floating on the tops of trees. I declared real independence long before I knew where I lived.

My body belongs to my species and I am only my body but my body does not belong to me. Me is a word. I am not me. I do not exist. True freedom is nothingness.

Happiness, humour and playfulness - universal to learning brains. So easily forgotten. Time to happily forget myself and be.