Cusp

Discretion is the name of the better part of the garter my mistress Valerie wears just for me. Actually, she pays all the bills so I'm a kept man. She likes to pretend otherwise. Who am I to argue with price fixing...I mean, the life of a Prix Fixe man?

She keeps in touch with the other godmothers in the business. Eva Levi. Claire. The Bevies. I'm a courier. I'm invisible. I meet and greet. Find the out-of-the-way for little getaways.

Not everything you see is real. The perception of reality rules. Why do I waste my time saying all this?

I've gotta say something. I'm stalling, putting off the inevitable, stuffing old shirts into steamer trunks, typing messages on old Victrolas, finding excuses.

You know how it is. You get the news, you think about why, you hope you're dreaming. You dive into your hobby or maybe the hobbies of the one you lost.

My brother died. That's all I know, sitting here reading his blog, looking for answers, drumming up more questions than I wanted to bear.

Rick was a good kid, a little innocent, a little goofy, but trustworthy and kind, a reflection of his Boy Scout training. Naive? Sure. Gullible? When he wanted to be.

Who cares? He's dead. That's all I know. That's all I know! Dead. Just like that, a 44-ounce supersized styrofoam cup full of dyed iced tea next to his chair. Dyed and died. He'd like that.

Rick played with words. He hung around with some odd characters but no one particularly dangerous. At least, not until this investigator showed up. Thinks everyone's a perp. Look in a mirror, lieutenant. The truth's closer than you think.

My brother was assigned a task that I should have...that...I...well...I couldn't have done. He was always the one playing with computers, tinkering around with old tube radio parts and building analog processing machines long before our godfather gave us our first set of solid state transistors. Our godfather's in the hands of Alzheimer's but he was a good guide. Gave us a lot of advice in how the electronics racket works. Showed us who the real players were (hint: journalists are usually happy reporting the fluff, the entertainment side of business). Got us in on the ground floor, disguised as movers. I figure that's where the phrase movers and shakers comes from, eh? You don't move out of the way, we shake you around a bit.

We started dealing in computer parts on the school buses in the morning. Trading dynamic RAM for static RAM and four-bit CPUs for 8-bit CPUs while them dumb kids traded hot cinnamon sticks for hand-holding.

And now Rick is dead. Damn those motherfuckas! There's nothing I can do. Poor guy didn't know you don't go where you told to stay away from. Never was good at following the rules. Some games you can't step out of line without getting kicked off the team. And some games you don't live to talk about after the outcome's been fixed.

See, that's why I got Valerie. She's my protection. She plays by the rules and when she needs to, she invents new ones. Got more balls than most of them she's up against. Keeps her guys like me to take her mind offa things. She's got me here sortin' out the mess my brother got into before he died. Knows what I don't. And I don't wanna know nothin'. I'm bringin' in a specialist, a guy expert in computers, an old friend of the family, a playmate of Rick's from way back, name of Joey.

Meantime, I gotta track down Rick's gal pal. She ain't been around here lately. Last I saw, they was at Claire's concert in town, havin' a good time. And Claire don't know nothin', neither, Rick keepin' his distance that night.

Fuck! I shoulda known somethin' was up when Claire mentioned Rick's silence. Kid, didn't you know you can't keep secrets in this business? See what you done? You got yourself killed. And for what? Some computer game or somethin'? Shit, kid, we coulda hired a few dozen programmers from overseas to write computer games. Money's in banking right now, shifting ownership and money laundering around, not kids dickin' around on videogames. At least not how's I know it until that roleplaying shit pays off bigtime.

What the hell? I've gotta get this emotional bullshit out of my system and focus. Some of the stuff on this computer I can't let Joey see. We need to keep him around, not let him get sucked in, too. Do I let this program keep running or shut it down? What's all these rows of numbers mean? Permutations? I dropped out of school cause of this stinkin' math and now I'm the one's supposed to add it up? All these notes about the One and The Code. The One Code? Code The One? The Code One? One The Code? Makes no sense but Rick woulda had fun with it, if he was gonna do it right.

I've closed the computer program and shut down the computer but when I boot it back up, it opens up a website where the computer program is still running. And by God, I swear it's talking to me. "Dear Brother, one's DNA is as good as the other One." What's that supposed to mean? And this other line, "leave the place alone. The house you're in, O Brother, is not yours to be." I close the window and it pops back up, making fun of me, saying, "I knew you were going to do that." What kinda shit is that? I'm grieving over my bro' and his computer program is poking me in the ribs? Rick, you were a son of a bitch at times, God rest our dear mother's soul, but this? Were you being funny or is this some sick joke from the ones who done you in? I'm fuckin' out of here. Joey, you can see what you want to see. I'm leaving this note on the computer for ya. You agreed to do this job so you know the dangers Valerie's paying you for.